Idina Menzel has been keeping a secret for the last four years.<\/p>\n
Menzel tried unsuccessfully to have a baby with her second husband, Aaron Lohr. After several rounds (too many she lost count) of in vitro fertilization, she didn’t get the follicle count or a go-ahead from the doctor that the cycle would have been good enough to complete the whole process.<\/p>\n
\u201cAt a certain time, you’re exhausted emotionally and physically. It becomes apparent that it is just time to let that go and move on,\u201d she tells InStyle<\/em> of ending IVF<\/p>\n It\u2019s an emotional story that the 51-year-old actress discusses candidly in her new documentary, Idina Menzel: Which Way to the Stage?<\/em> streaming Dec. 9 on Disney+. It follows the singer\u2019s journey on a 16-show national tour in 2018 that culminated with a concert at the world-famous Madison Square Garden in New York City.<\/p>\n Menzel and Lohr, who starred in the 2005 film adaptation of Rent<\/em> together, married in 2017 under a chuppah in her backyard. She already shares a son, Walker, with her ex-husband of 10 years and former Rent<\/em> co-star, Taye Diggs.<\/p>\n Menzel admits she \u201cdidn\u2019t 100%\u201d want a second child at 48, saying \u201chow hard that would be for me at this age and knowing a lot of things that I still want to do in my career.\u201d On top of constant doctors appointments, the medical process was happening simultaneously throughout the tour. But she soon learned \u201cthe more you [try for it] \u2014 and when it doesn’t happen, you’re upset, you realize how much you want it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI didn’t think I wanted to have a baby,\u201d Menzel says in a video clip from the documentary shared exclusively with InStyle<\/em>. \u201cBut then Aaron has been the most amazing man to my son \u2014 who has a wonderful dad \u2014 who has found a way to have his own incredible relationship with Walker.\u201d<\/p>\n For the Long Island native who grew up in Syosset, belting covers at weddings and bar mitzvahs on the weekends while studying at New York University \u2014 Madison Square Garden has always been her dream performance venue. There\u2019s even 2004 footage shown in the documentary to prove it.<\/p>\n \u201cIt was the place you aspired to play at. I wanted it as a memory and something that I could look back on,\u201d the Tony Award winner explains about why she chose this moment in time to capture on camera.<\/p>\n With a robust r\u00e9sum\u00e9, it could have been any other pivotal life-changing point in her career: the journey of originating Elphaba in Wicked <\/em>on Broadway, voicing Elsa in the Frozen<\/em> franchise or prepping for the Oscars only to have her name pronounced wrong<\/a> before singing \u201cLet It Go.\u201d (A good sport, Menzel insists the whole Adele Dazeem thing<\/a> was the greatest thing to ever happen to her.)<\/p>\n Perhaps it could have also been about filming Disenchanted<\/em>, the sequel to Enchanted<\/em> which recently started streaming on Disney+. There\u2019s also her new children\u2019s book, Loud Mouse<\/em>, co-authored with her sister, Cara Mentzel, out in stores now.<\/p>\n When you unpack the layers of the documentary \u2014 from her parents\u2019 splitting up one year on Thanksgiving, her divorce with Diggs, a career lull post her tour de force<\/em> Broadway debut in Rent<\/em> \u2014 Menzel\u2019s rise to stardom weaves in and out of literally<\/em> figuring out \u201cwhich way to the stage\u201d for a mic check and rehearsal (which pays homage to a line from Rent<\/em> and ironically also the title of a 2022 off-Broadway play about stage-dooring for Idina Menzel\u2019s autograph).<\/p>\n \u201cTo me, it was less about the road to The Garden and more about the things we do on the way: the struggle and challenge of balancing motherhood with a career and making choices and what our priorities are,\u201d Menzel says. \u201cIt’s the intimacy and letting people have a window into my soul … and what makes me tick.\u201d<\/p>\n Menzel likes to win. At first, she believed getting pregnant was going to be easy since it was with Walker. \u201cFor some reason, I was arrogant. The doctors did say it [was] late, but [I seemed] to have a really good chance,\u201d she says. \u201cThey sort of filled my head with all this stuff that I was going to be like one in a hundred women that actually gets pregnant at my age. Because I’m a competitive person [I thought] I’m going to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n The formerly taboo topic of IVF is steadily becoming more openly discussed among women in Hollywood. Jennifer Aniston recently revealed that she, too, had tried IVF. Menzel said she couldn\u2019t fully grasp the heartache Aniston must have endured when it failed.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ve experienced being pregnant and how beautiful that is. I wouldn’t begin to understand her experience, what she needs and what she wanted in her life,\u201d Menzel says, carefully choosing her words. \u201cBut perhaps the fact that this is coming to light from different women \u2014 it’s just something that needs to be explored. It\u2019s probably a sign from the universe that we need to discuss it and have this conversation.\u201d<\/p>\n Some of the documentary scenes shared with InStyle<\/em> show Menzel at her in vitro appointments discussing egg retrievals, something many people might be surprised that she would share so publicly.<\/p>\n I want women to feel like they’re being seen and heard. And for people to understand that experience a lot of us go on, how emotional it is, what it does to our bodies and how it affects us day to day, let alone trying to sing high notes and get on stage. \u201cThere’s a fine line between me being vulnerable and exposing too much. It’s something that I wrestle with but not too much because I’m okay with being vulnerable. I feel like it\u2019s really what an artist does and how you connect with your audience in the most profound ways. It’s something you get used to doing,\u201d she explains of why she included these intimate moments in the documentary.<\/p>\n \u201cI want women to feel like they’re being seen and heard. And for people to understand that experience a lot of us go on, how emotional it is, what it does to our bodies and how it affects us day to day, let alone trying to sing high notes and get on stage.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n In addition to navigating fertility treatments, Menzel also balanced being a working mom to 13-year-old Walker, and time away on the road. There are several endearing moments in the documentary when Menzel is being called on stage to perform and she pauses to quickly FaceTime her son to hear about school or basketball games. The candid backstage moments show Menzel being a mother first and performer second.<\/p>\n …In this kind of chaotic career that I’ve chosen, you never know what’s going to happen. There\u2019s many highs and lows. So when something happens that you’ve wanted your whole life, you just need to grasp it.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n \u201cBefore I had Walker, I was more rigid. My sleep pattern had to be a certain way so I could be in good voice. I wouldn’t travel right before a show, because the air pressure on the airplane affects the dryness of your voice. I was harder on myself, more of a perfectionist. When I had Walker all that went out the window. You say to yourself, \u2018My kid had a fever last night. I’m probably going to get his cold and it’s going to fuck up in my mind what a perfect show it is.\u2019 Once I was completely liberated by it, I would get on stage and tell myself, \u2018OK, let\u2019s see what happens.\u2019 As a result, I ended up having better shows because I took the perfection out of it.\u201d<\/p>\n Menzel wanted many of these typically private moments featured in the documentary as a keepsake \u2014 but it was also part of a precedent she set for herself to be present, \u201cespecially in this kind of chaotic career that I’ve chosen,\u201d she says, adding, \u201cYou never know what’s going to happen. There\u2019s many highs and lows. So when something happens that you’ve wanted your whole life, you just need to grasp it.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Idina Menzel has been keeping a secret for the last four years. Menzel tried unsuccessfully to have a baby with her second husband, Aaron Lohr. After several rounds (too many she lost count) of in vitro fertilization, she didn’t get the follicle count or a go-ahead from the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1147,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[64,74],"class_list":["post-1161","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interviews","tag-64","tag-which-way-to-the-stage"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"acf":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.idina-here.com\/press\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/idinamenzelwhichwaytothestage_4c4a0144_r.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6Srnq-iJ","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.idina-here.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1161","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.idina-here.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.idina-here.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.idina-here.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.idina-here.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1161"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.idina-here.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1161\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1163,"href":"https:\/\/www.idina-here.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1161\/revisions\/1163"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.idina-here.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1147"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.idina-here.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1161"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.idina-here.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1161"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.idina-here.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1161"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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